Posted 9:58 am Sunday, March 17, 2013
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I could really use an iHug
Technology continues to confound those of us who are gadget junkies. I ran across a relic recently during one of those "cleaning phases" at the office. It was the box and accessories to my Palm Pilot VII.
A cutting edge product in its day, the device would email and instant message as long as a balloon was not floating in front of the satellite, or a kid was not screaming within close range.
If I hang on to the box for another 30 to 40 years, my kids will be able to perhaps keep it for the rest of their natural lives and encourage their grandchildren to either throw it away, or see if it is something they could donate to the Smithsonian.
By then, surely there will be no value to gain from tax write-offs, as it seems they will surely be a thing of the past, therefore the Smithsonian will have to count on their sheer sense of altruism and regard for their fellow citizens.
Staying on top of the gadget game is harrowing. The minute you secure the latest technology, it is replaced five minutes later.
I even wondered about the real (intrinsic, imbued, inherent) value throughout the years of some of the things that were supposed to bring me such pleasure and joy.
Then you have to stack up all the tech support calls and time on hold waiting for someone to speak contemptibly to you, because you couldn't figure it out on your own.
Contemptuousness must be a critical part of the training, because these things are advertised as if they only apply to a select few of discriminating users. If the techs were compassionate and loving in their advice, then the product would have to be presumed useful to everyone.
At the end of the day once compatibility issues were resolved with the people on the phone, the real question would be if you actually got more useful time out of the device than you spent setting it up.
My cellphone has a thing called 'Siri.' She is my personal digital assistant. I can ask her questions, and she is supposed to give me answers. Siri's requirements of specificity are so stringent that she frequently refers me to a Google search, which means I then have to do everything myself.
She is really not that helpful, unless I want a score of a ballgame or something for which I have only nominal interest.
If Siri were my girlfriend (a concept my wife would frown upon), I would break up with her.
If the tech people want to get serious about providing technology to really improve our lives, then our cars would drive us everywhere in safe following distances from other cars and take the fastest route calculated based upon driving conditions, such as traffic and weather. I would like that a lot.
It would be cool to have a robot that could cook your meals. Whether your preference was healthy or gourmet, you could choose your preferences and program the robot to more importantly clean up after dinner.
Better yet, if your robot could change diapers and fill deer feeders with corn and protein mixtures, change the oil in the cars and do the dusting, then you would have some real technological breakthroughs.
Your robot could tuck your kids into bed and call them in the morning with a pre-programmed message saying you love them, and even bring flowers home to your wife when you are in trouble, in case the dust hasn't completely settled. This could be the multi-tasking breakthrough we've all been anxiously awaiting.
Then again, I guess humans are pretty good examples of high performing but flawed technology.
I'm gonna go find somebody to give me a hug.
I'm gonna go find somebody to give me a hug.
