Posted 1:01 am Sunday, August 19, 2012
Send to Kindle
Getting my name in chalk?
By Nelson Clyde
isitjustme@tylerpaper.com
It’s one of those things on my life list. What else can I say? It’s not for a lack of effort either. Schmoozing maitre d’s, swooning over chef’s specialties trying hard to play it straight to achieve one of those life list accomplishments. I’m running out of time to get this done so there is only one thing left to do, cheat.
isitjustme@tylerpaper.com
It’s one of those things on my life list. What else can I say? It’s not for a lack of effort either. Schmoozing maitre d’s, swooning over chef’s specialties trying hard to play it straight to achieve one of those life list accomplishments. I’m running out of time to get this done so there is only one thing left to do, cheat.
A famous comedienne was bold enough to write a book about sleeping her way to the top by finally bedding the CEO of her network which somehow landed her a television show about absolutely nothing.
I’m too old, tired and married to climb any ladder other than to the top bunk, and for anything other than mere slumber, but now is my moment to get my name in chalk on the menu of a restaurant and I need your help. Of course, as with anything involving food in my life, I’m going to have to include Greenberg in this so it will work.
Here’s the deal. Our local epicenter of gastronomie is FRESH. They are having a sandwich contest involving local people, such as myself. The winning sandwich will be included on their menu this fall, and for every sandwich they sell, a dollar will be donated to the charity of the winner’s choice.
Now in any other situation the circumstances could be a little different. And, while I’m still young enough to buy green bananas, this is my moment to get on a menu and check this box off my list.
My plan is simple. The ingredients must come from FRESH. I checked with Greenberg to see if he would have enough birds in the store to meet the demand. He assured me there would be no problem.
The recipe has to include something spicy, so I found a great Hatch pepper mayo recipe to kick this thing up a notch. Normally my Greenberg turkey sandwich is white bread, mayo and turkey (it feels as if anything else is “gilding the lilly, if you please”).
The charity needs to have the breadth of supporters to rally their constituency to vote and get their friends to do so as well.
In an environment where cheating is already fully acknowledged, I made the final crass move of them all. If I could not sleep my way to victory, at least I could pick a deserving charity my wife and I both like.
Here’s the deal. Our local epicenter of gastronomie is FRESH. They are having a sandwich contest involving local people, such as myself. The winning sandwich will be included on their menu this fall, and for every sandwich they sell, a dollar will be donated to the charity of the winner’s choice.
Now in any other situation the circumstances could be a little different. And, while I’m still young enough to buy green bananas, this is my moment to get on a menu and check this box off my list.
My plan is simple. The ingredients must come from FRESH. I checked with Greenberg to see if he would have enough birds in the store to meet the demand. He assured me there would be no problem.
The recipe has to include something spicy, so I found a great Hatch pepper mayo recipe to kick this thing up a notch. Normally my Greenberg turkey sandwich is white bread, mayo and turkey (it feels as if anything else is “gilding the lilly, if you please”).
The charity needs to have the breadth of supporters to rally their constituency to vote and get their friends to do so as well.
In an environment where cheating is already fully acknowledged, I made the final crass move of them all. If I could not sleep my way to victory, at least I could pick a deserving charity my wife and I both like.
She recently got involved as a board member of the Samaritan Counseling Center, a relatively new nonprofit offering counseling services to the community. It happens to be one of my favorite new charities, and I’m hoping its board will get out the word to vote for my sandwich.
In fact, of all the elections going on, this is one we can all get excited about. Too bad we can’t elect a Greenberg turkey for president. Talk about an entrée to world peace.
So get ready to tell all your friends to get on the Web and vote for my sandwich (see recipe). This is something where we can all win. Just think, FRESH gets a new sandwich on its menu, I check off a life-list accomplishment, we all get Greenberg turkey sandwiches before Thanksgiving, the Samaritan counseling center gets some money and attention and my wife is happy about all of it. And we all know what happens when mama’s happy. ... Won’t you help me?
In fact, of all the elections going on, this is one we can all get excited about. Too bad we can’t elect a Greenberg turkey for president. Talk about an entrée to world peace.
So get ready to tell all your friends to get on the Web and vote for my sandwich (see recipe). This is something where we can all win. Just think, FRESH gets a new sandwich on its menu, I check off a life-list accomplishment, we all get Greenberg turkey sandwiches before Thanksgiving, the Samaritan counseling center gets some money and attention and my wife is happy about all of it. And we all know what happens when mama’s happy. ... Won’t you help me?
