Posted 11:07 pm Sunday, July 15, 2012
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The Column About Nothing?
Someone told me last week they thought my column reminded them of the “Seinfeld” show, famously billed as the show about nothing.
If true, I take that as a high form of praise indeed as I found the “Seinfeld” show to be funny.
In the spirit of nothing, my topic this week will begin with something that is really not much of anything.
While visiting with a man I had been trying to reach for several weeks, he shared with me he had been on an extended vacation to Russia. We had a lengthy visit on the subject and agreed that Russia had its share of beautiful women as the Beatles famously mention in their classic “Back In The U.S.S.R.” The gent also mentioned his pre-trip impression of the country being that of portly women washing clothes outside and a drab sense of gray everywhere.
In fact, he said Moscow is beautiful and the streets are filled with luxury cars. He said it was akin to being in New York City.
If true, I take that as a high form of praise indeed as I found the “Seinfeld” show to be funny.
In the spirit of nothing, my topic this week will begin with something that is really not much of anything.
While visiting with a man I had been trying to reach for several weeks, he shared with me he had been on an extended vacation to Russia. We had a lengthy visit on the subject and agreed that Russia had its share of beautiful women as the Beatles famously mention in their classic “Back In The U.S.S.R.” The gent also mentioned his pre-trip impression of the country being that of portly women washing clothes outside and a drab sense of gray everywhere.
In fact, he said Moscow is beautiful and the streets are filled with luxury cars. He said it was akin to being in New York City.
My travels have never taken me to Russia, but I would enjoy going. It seems I’m being bombarded with images of the place as I happened to have a conversation this week with a woman who spells her name with a K for Karla. If you’ve read “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” this would all make sense. Don’t bother watching the remake of the movie floated last fall. It still should be floating this minute somewhere near the water intake at Lake Tyler for all I can surmise.
Speaking of movies I got a funny cartoon in the mail this week from local artist James Wilkins about the movie “Bernie.” Not sure if I should publish it without talking to James first, but it did bring something to mind about movies with the name Bernie in the title. It seems the people who die in these flicks never seem to get a proper funeral even when the protagonist in the East Texas tale of Bernie is an associate funeral director. Go figure.
As if the celebrity of my pooch Chloe could grow any more, last week I got an email inviting her to be a celebrity guest at the Petapalooza in Bergfeld Park on Sept. 8. We are still checking Chloe’s social calendar to see if she will be available, and we have some concerns that she has not socialized well with other pooches. We really don’t have time to take her to that guy in New York who is the “dog whisperer” or to send her to an appropriate finishing school for a dame of her breedin. So, we’re not sure if she would bark and growl in the face of other pups or take to floor of her stage with the same indifference she displays when asked to go outside in the heat.
Speaking of movies I got a funny cartoon in the mail this week from local artist James Wilkins about the movie “Bernie.” Not sure if I should publish it without talking to James first, but it did bring something to mind about movies with the name Bernie in the title. It seems the people who die in these flicks never seem to get a proper funeral even when the protagonist in the East Texas tale of Bernie is an associate funeral director. Go figure.
As if the celebrity of my pooch Chloe could grow any more, last week I got an email inviting her to be a celebrity guest at the Petapalooza in Bergfeld Park on Sept. 8. We are still checking Chloe’s social calendar to see if she will be available, and we have some concerns that she has not socialized well with other pooches. We really don’t have time to take her to that guy in New York who is the “dog whisperer” or to send her to an appropriate finishing school for a dame of her breedin. So, we’re not sure if she would bark and growl in the face of other pups or take to floor of her stage with the same indifference she displays when asked to go outside in the heat.
One thing I have noticed about my pooch while my youngest child has been gone is the similarity of how dogs respond to their “parents” in the same way small children do.
Think about it. When you get home they are so excited and want your total and immediate attention and affection. When you are in the same room, if you move they look at you like, “what are you doing? Or where are you going?” And, “is food or chocolate involved in your movement?”
Remember when your kids were babies and you could walk into their room as quietly as Tonto and they would sense your presence, and as you were taking that last step out of the room on the way to your nap they would say, Dad? Then you would run down the hall as quietly as possible and try to ignore their inquiry until the screaming became so unbearable you had to either get up and resume the day or bring them to bed next to you to continue both naps. Enter the old adage, “Let sleeping dogs and babies lie.”
Dogs don’t really torment us the same way kids do, unless they are Brittany Spaniels. Kids end up providing more joy at the end of the day but our pooches do give us an adoring public to turn to when mankind deserts us, and they seem to never really grow out of it.
There was also a call this week about my book club. We took the summer off but, for those who want to work ahead, we are reading the Steve Jobs biography for a meeting to be held in September. A firm date will be announced once my schedule has deferred appropriately to my celebrity dog, trophy wife and my four type-A children.
So, for a whole lot of nothing, I hope this gave you something to think about.
Think about it. When you get home they are so excited and want your total and immediate attention and affection. When you are in the same room, if you move they look at you like, “what are you doing? Or where are you going?” And, “is food or chocolate involved in your movement?”
Remember when your kids were babies and you could walk into their room as quietly as Tonto and they would sense your presence, and as you were taking that last step out of the room on the way to your nap they would say, Dad? Then you would run down the hall as quietly as possible and try to ignore their inquiry until the screaming became so unbearable you had to either get up and resume the day or bring them to bed next to you to continue both naps. Enter the old adage, “Let sleeping dogs and babies lie.”
Dogs don’t really torment us the same way kids do, unless they are Brittany Spaniels. Kids end up providing more joy at the end of the day but our pooches do give us an adoring public to turn to when mankind deserts us, and they seem to never really grow out of it.
There was also a call this week about my book club. We took the summer off but, for those who want to work ahead, we are reading the Steve Jobs biography for a meeting to be held in September. A firm date will be announced once my schedule has deferred appropriately to my celebrity dog, trophy wife and my four type-A children.
So, for a whole lot of nothing, I hope this gave you something to think about.
