Posted 9:29 pm Saturday, March 13, 2010
Playground Of Idle Mind Filled My Mailbox
It happened again. I got sick. I was bored. I went on "A-Bay" -- Auction Bay -- that online auction action Web page designed to hook hapless bidders into a frenzy of tomfoolery, forgetting the few dollars they have in the bank account.
What is it about bargains that drive people like me wild? Do we develop into crazy people or are we born that way? For centuries, theologians have ruined their brains trying to answer that question. Few of them had the benefit of observing the phenomenon of the online onslaught for ownership.
Trust me, it's brutal out there in cyberspace.
Let me just say that the bidding for used music CDs at the 99 cents to $5 level -- plus shipping -- is ferocious and far beyond reasonable expectations. Reason, in fact, is a far-distant finisher in the rat-race on "A-Bay." People who have far too much time on their hands must be hunkered over their expensive laptops and Internet connections, haggling for a few dollars more, ready to do battle in the final seconds for the obscure item they must have now.
Let me just say that the bidding for used music CDs at the 99 cents to $5 level -- plus shipping -- is ferocious and far beyond reasonable expectations. Reason, in fact, is a far-distant finisher in the rat-race on "A-Bay." People who have far too much time on their hands must be hunkered over their expensive laptops and Internet connections, haggling for a few dollars more, ready to do battle in the final seconds for the obscure item they must have now.
After observing the tactics and strategies of otherwise intelligent people bidding for a rare copy of, say, "The Purple Haze Rug Mats" (it's rare for a reason folks), or the oxymoronic "The Moose Jaw Philharmonic Trio perform the Tender Love Songs of the Rolling Stones," I had a revelation.
The rush that comes from "A-Bay" is not in the item desired, but how one gets it. A-bay makes other get-it-dirt-cheap Web sites pure boredom by comparison.
Where is the thrill of victory on some milk-toast Web site where one may safely and securely "buy it now" for just 10 cents without a struggle, when you can bid for 50 times the price and wrest it away from some hapless soul in Seoul, Korea for $5 ?
Welcome to "A-bay," where peace on earth and good will toward men is relegated to the dust bin while demi-gods of the keystroke find ways to outfox each other.
For five flu-filled days, I observed a few types who inhabit "A-Bay."
One is the "I-don't-give-a-rip-about-this item" bidder, who nonetheless must be keeping track of the hours, minutes and seconds of their favorite CD for sale. Contemplating a Roy Orbison four-CD box set "Like New" with mint-condition booklets, I wondered why no bids had been made with just a minute to go.
"Must be something wrong with it," I muttered to myself. I was a poor ,deluded fool. At 50 seconds, a bid went up for $3.75. You must bid in 26 cent increments minimum on "A-Bay," so another bid came in for $4.01. Then $4.27.
Then it got wild.
With 30 seconds to go, someone dropped the bomb and bid $10. But he was outbid by someone who'd already bid $14.50 and then increased his maximum bid to $21.
With 30 seconds to go, someone dropped the bomb and bid $10. But he was outbid by someone who'd already bid $14.50 and then increased his maximum bid to $21.
I stared at the computer screen, disbelieving. At 18 seconds, it all broke loose. Bids of $23.50, $27.12 and then 29.00 came up as nationwide -- perhaps worldwide -- bidders broke free of the pack to play their purchase strategies to the public. Time was running out! At three seconds, a bid came up for $38.78 and then the clock shuddered to a stop and froze. I held my breath.
The final and winning bid, "A-Bay" said, was $43.26. There is a bid-history page and I examined it. Most of the bids were from the same people who battled it out keystroke by keystroke. But, the winner made only one bid. The victorious one. This bidder had waited, I noted, until there were only about five seconds left and made an offer no one was ready to respond to.
"Who in the world would participate in this?" I asked myself. "I don't get it."
But then it happened. Up for bid was a "Moby Grape" original CD first release "Like New" for the ridiculous price of $3.50. I'd been looking for that recording from my California high school days for a couple of decades.
A quick check at "NileRiver" revealed used copies for "$98 and up." Returning to "A-Bay," I said, "I must have this!" Taking a cue from the expert bidder, I waited, counting down the minutes, then final seconds aloud until I bid. At 10 seconds I let loose with a bid three times what anyone else had offered. A flurry of bids hit the fan, but I came out ahead -- at $20.
I was ecstatic. My demi-dream had come true.
Flushed with victory, I searched for other emotion-laden "bargains." I had a bad flu for five days, but after "Moby," I was plenty busy. About 50 CDs later I thankfully got well and went back to work so I could pay for my purchases. The CDs are still trickling into the house through the mail. Take another look and learn, the Proverbs say.
Flushed with victory, I searched for other emotion-laden "bargains." I had a bad flu for five days, but after "Moby," I was plenty busy. About 50 CDs later I thankfully got well and went back to work so I could pay for my purchases. The CDs are still trickling into the house through the mail. Take another look and learn, the Proverbs say.
Once again, I realize that "A-Bay" was no way for e-may. Thankfully I had something like work to distract me from online bidding.
"Maybe" I thought, "that's why God gives us work to do." Maybe the idle mind really is the Devil's playground.
Funny, I'd always just thought that was a trite, tired saying from old people who really didn't know any better.
