East Texas Life

By MAEGAN McGOWEN
Staff Writer

Thomas Renfroe is not your average high school student.

He dresses impeccably, listens to classical music and has a strict schedule that he happily adheres to every day

Eighteen-year-old Thomas' behavior, which makes him seem mature beyond his years, is caused by a combination of autism and Aspergers Syndrome.

“Autism is a social and communication disorder,” Wilson Renfroe, Thomas’ father, said. “Aspergers is more of a thought disorder and is the highest form of autism. People with Aspergers have adequate language skills, and they can adequately communicate, but they also tend to make good grades and excel academically. Thomas isn’t one or the other; he’s got symptoms of both.”

According to Mr. Renfroe, Thomas was formally diagnosed at 8 years old, but signs and symptoms showed up at 4 years old.

“When Thomas was a real little kid he had language difficulties,” Mr. Renfroe said. “He would scream instead of talk and his language was generally delayed.”
Thomas, sitting quietly at the end of the dining room table, regarded his father with quiet brown eyes.

“Every day I would feel bad inside about my thoughts because I struggled with them,” Thomas said. “A lot of them I don’t understand yet and I struggle with them every day, but I deal with them as well as I can.”

When Thomas needs to distract himself, he enjoys watching black and white films or “calming” movies.

“I like classic movies, like mystery comedies or comedy drama from the 30s and 40s,” he said. “I also like some of the new movies that are very peaceful, but I don’t like many Hollywood movies.”

According to Julee Renfroe, Thomas’ mother, Thomas likes black and white movies because there’s less sensory overload and they have a beginning, middle and an end.

“The ‘The End’ always warms my heart up,” said Thomas fondly.

Troubling thoughts do not affect all autistic children, but Thomas tends to have intrusive thoughts that are very troubling to him, Mr. Renfroe said.

“I learned to deal with my thoughts by doing something else when I get uncomfortable,” Thomas said. “If I was reading a book and that wasn’t working for me, I would just watch a movie instead. I distract myself.”

Dealing with his thoughts hasn’t been an easy process, but one of Thomas’ best therapists has been his younger brother Will.

“Sometimes Thomas will get a little ‘stressed,’ but after a quick encouraging word, everything is back to normal,” Will said. “Thomas’ autism defines him in the long run, but it’s no burden for the rest of us at all.”

Mrs. Renfroe explained that the hardest part of autism for parents can be a sense of loss for their child’s future.

“The biggest thing is just the grief that your son won’t have the life you envisioned for him,” she said. “And as you work though the grief, then the challenge is just daily life. The whole idea that there’s something wrong with your kid that won’t go away is very difficult.”

According to Mrs. Renfroe, everything that normal families take for granted are challenges for her family.

“We’ve always said that holidays, weekends and vacations are times most families associate with their let down time, but it’s the opposite for us because it takes away his routine, predictably, structure and his comfort. That’s been the biggest challenge in my life and for the rest of the family, maintaining normalcy and structure from him on a day to day, hour to hour basis.”

Mrs. Renfroe said that Thomas is doing the best he’s ever done, and both she and her husband have learned a lot about autism and Aspergers Syndrome over the years.

“Wilson is a clinical psychologist, he evaluates kids, and it kind of helps that we’ve both had medical training, because I’m a nurse, so we have an edge on a lot of families that have special needs, but it’s still incredibly challenging.”

Mr. and Mrs. Renfroe agree that educating themselves on autism has been vital in helping Thomas succeed.

“My advice for other parents is to learn as much as they can, and become a student of the condition and of your child,” Mrs. Renfroe said. “Even though there are basic characteristics that are true in people with autism, there is also a huge variance of behaviors. Find professionals that know about the condition and can help you.”

The Renfroes are also involved with an Autism Support Group that Mr. Renfroe facilitates that is a combination of Parent Services Center, Inc. and the Arc of Tyler.

“We are also working with Parent Services Center, Inc. to provide more community resources for parents, and the Autism Symposium is the kickoff for the Autism Network.”

Will summed up his feelings about Thomas perfectly in an essay he wrote about his brother.

“Although he can be a little demanding at times, he has deeply added joy to our family and friends,” he wrote. “Thomas is vastly out of the ordinary, and that fits our schedule just fine.”

Thomas Renfroe, 18, has his portrait taken at his parents' home in Tyler.
(Staff photo by Tom Turner)