Posted 11:42 am Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Woman’s Bipolar Disorder Inspires Book, Group
By COSHANDRA DILLARD
Staff Writer
For more than 20 years, Melody Stroud was lost. She was plagued with intermittent bouts of depression and manic behavior. It's like she was a prisoner of her own mind.
Staff Writer
For more than 20 years, Melody Stroud was lost. She was plagued with intermittent bouts of depression and manic behavior. It's like she was a prisoner of her own mind.
The 46-year-old mother of three is now managing a life with a disorder that affects more than five million other people in the country. It is bipolar disorder, a mental illness characterized by mood instability, which can sometimes be dangerous and disabling. It is also known as manic depression or manic-depressive illness, which describes the two extremes of the disorder.
Now that she has overcome a life of instability, Mrs. Stroud said she is dedicating the rest of her life to educate others about the often misunderstood illness.
She began last year by starting a support group, where she gathers twice a month with about 10 other people with the disorder at the Andrews Center in Tyler.
"It gives them an opportunity to get out and be with other people that understand what they are going through," Mrs. Stroud said. "It is difficult to talk about it. People don't realize it is a physical and mental illness."
She also started a nonprofit called the Bipolar Awareness Foundation to bring awareness and support throughout East Texas.
Her newest project is the publication of a book -- "In My Head: Living My Life with Bipolar."
After years of battling depression and manic episodes, she said she is finally free to live her life with some normalcy. Her triumph is what led her to begin writing the book three years ago, after contemplating the idea for about 10 years. She said she is no longer ashamed to divulge the details of her life as bipolar.
"People need to know the details," she said. "I want them to know you can live a productive life with this disorder. You can live a fulfilling life."
Mrs. Stroud's first experience with the illness was 24 years ago when she was just 22.
During her first bout with depression, she was suicidal, she said. By the time she was 37 she had experienced two manic episodes, in which she would go long periods of time without sleep. It took a toll on her body and she was hospitalized once. Following her diagnosis, she said she was in denial and angered often.
Not a lot of information was available on the illness in the 1980s and some doctors did not fully understand the complex disorder, she said.
People living with bipolar disorder do not travel that journey alone, Mrs. Stroud noted. The people closest to them are impacted. At one point, she was told she would not be able to care for her children.
Her 25-year-old daughter, Tara McKenzie, said she was a toddler when her mother was diagnosed. While her mother was hospitalized, she went to live with her father.
By junior high, Ms. McKenzie realized that not all moms were always extremely tired. But she said she was not embarrassed of her and didn't mind sharing what her mother was going through, if asked.
"I wasn't ashamed and especially now, I'm really proud of her," Ms. McKenzie said.
Ms. McKenzie admits that she did not get to know the real Melody Stroud until recently, when her mother became stable. Her recount of "meeting" her mother for the first time still harbors painful memories.
"It wasn't until I became an adult that I got to interact with my mom normally," she said through tears.
"I got to meet my mom when I was 20. It was really nice to see that she had a personality. I'm just so proud of her. She fought a huge battle most of her life and it makes me want to be stronger."
Mrs. Stroud is better thanks to a combination of medicine and psychiatric care. She sees a psychiatrist twice a year, an improvement from every three months. She hopes she will one day only need an annual visit. She is temporarily taking a mood stabilizer to help with anxiety, she said.
Today she is more educated about the disorder and said she keeps a watchful eye on symptoms -- wanting to stay in bed, isolating herself and, on the opposite side, going without sleep and feeling very energized.
In her attempts to educate others, she reminds families to hang in there with a loved one who suffers from the disorder.
"I hope that families also can better understand what they can go through. It is so important to give their support."
Mrs. Stroud acknowledges it was a higher power that helped her overcome a lifelong battle.
"I believe in God," she said. "I feel sure he was with me through all of this. This journey is for a reason. It is a miracle in my eyes. I am enjoying life."
"In My Head: Living My Life with Bipolar" is available through the publisher, Xlibris.com under the name Melody Hope and at Barnes and Noble.com. It will soon be available at amazon.com and borders.com.
BIPOLAR RESOURCES
Bipolar Awareness Foundation
Contact Melody Stroud for more information at 903-849-6526
Contact Melody Stroud for more information at 903-849-6526
Andrews Center
Crisis hotline (available 24 hours a day) 1-877-934-2131
Crisis hotline (available 24 hours a day) 1-877-934-2131
For information on services 903-597-1351
East Texas Medical Center Behavioral Health
East Texas Medical Center Behavioral Health
Crisis hotline (available 24 hours a day) 1-800-566-0088
For information or if you are experiencing symptoms 903-266-2200
2-1-1 Texas
Provides information about mental health resources available in Texas
Provides information about mental health resources available in Texas
