Hugh Neeld: The Curmudgeon Report

I read in the paper last week that a new study shows more than half the people in the U.S. are taking prescription medicines regularly for chronic health problems.

I have a theory—not necessarily scientific, but a theory nevertheless. Here it is: The more medicine you take, the sicker you get.

My wife and I, like most people our age, take enough prescription medication to cure a statewide plague. Our local pharmacist told me one time that we’re the only ones outside his immediate family who are regulars on his prayer list. (I think he was implying that the demise of either of us would impact his business adversely.)

At last count, I was taking six different medications and my wife a few of her own. Our home dispensary opens at 7 a.m. sharp at the breakfast table. All the bottles are lined up on the sideboard much like little soldiers awaiting inspection. With my glass of fruit juice, I take them singly, or if small enough, several at a time. The ritual takes about five minutes, and try as I might to avoid it, the cash register in my head mentally calculates the cost of each pill. I suspect we spend more on prescription drugs than we do for groceries.

The sight of all that medicine bothers me so much, I’ve considered keeping it in a small wire basket attached to a pulley and recessed in the ceiling. This way it’s out of sight until it’s time to medicate, and I can simply lower it to the table.

The fact that most doctors are so quick to prescribe is sort of a modern-day phenomenon in itself. The days of a doctor telling you to “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning” are gone forever. Doctors today like to prescribe a new medication for the same reason mountain climbers like to climb Mt. Everest -- “Because it’s there.” The longer I live, the more convinced I am that a prescription pad, in the hands of most doctors, that could be classified as a lethal weapon.

I have no problem with the curative effects of the new drugs—most of them are great in that respect. It’s the side effects that get me. When the medicine produces more symptoms than the disease it’s supposed to cure, that’s bad. On the other hand, if you don’t mind a little dizziness, shortness of breath, blurred vision, headaches, fatigue, diarrhea or vomiting, there’s a chance you might be cured, and that’s good.

My wife says I should stop obsessing about ill health and aging. Her advice is to stop looking for the fountain of youth, and start looking for the fountain of aging gracefully. I might try that.

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A question to ponder:

What is the speed of dark?

putterhugh@suddenlink.net

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Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.

Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
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