Cindy Mallette: On the Scene

April is Child Abuse Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Month. Another reporter at this newspaper, Casey Knaupp, wrote an excellent column last week on the topic, and I encourage you all to read it.

Last week, she covered a heinous child sexual assault trial that involved children being forced to take drugs and perform sexually for adults in a Mineola club.

One thing in that story stood out to me like a flashing red sign: the eldest victim talked about going to church.

I don't know how often she went, or if anyone there had suspicions that something bad was happening to that girl. Those facts probably weren't necessary to convict her abuser - he got life in prison, by the way.

It stood out because my mother, also a victim of physical and sexual abuse, went to church regularly with her abuser, her father.

Normally, we don't identify victims of sexual abuse, but I've written about my mother before in other newspapers, and she speaks about her experience to young women every day at a women's shelter in Longview, where she works. She's also started to speak about it at churches, because child abuse rears its ugly head everywhere, even - and I might say especially - at churches.

The numbers are stark: According to the national nonprofit organization GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment), there has been an average of 70 allegations of child abuse against individuals at churches every week for the past decade. Other national statistics show that one in four girls and one in seven boys will be abused before they turn 18.

My mom told me a story about the one, and only, time she tried to tell someone about what was happening at home. She went to a deacon at her church and said her father had been beating and raping her and her two sisters. The deacon, and a few other elders in the church, confronted her dad about it, and, of course, he said my mom was making it all up "for attention." Besides, my grandpa was a stand-up guy in the church, so the elders never pushed the issue further.

That day, he came home and beat my mom, and more. When he finished, he told her if she ever said anything again, he would kill her. She was convinced. She never told anyone again, until she was an adult.

Times have changed since the 1970s, and today people are more aware of child abuse and what to do about it.

Churches especially should understand the likelihood that child abuse is happening among their congregations. I didn't write that sentence to scare anybody, or cause a panic, but to tell church leaders and parents that they need to be ready to face it.

I did a Google search on child abuse, and I found a whole host of resources for churches on how to deal with child abuse. The Georgia Baptist Association gives downloadable guidelines for screening and training church employees before they work with children or teens. Information on how to do criminal background checks is available at https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/. The fee for criminal background checks is a little more than $3 each. Sex offender background checks are free.

Another group, Keeping Kids Safe Ministries, offers resources on how to deal with a registered sex offender who wants to attend church. GRACE also offers training and resources for church employees and for parents, including prevention tips and commonly-asked-questions on identifying and dealing with child abuse.

Some things to keep in mind:

Generally, children won't talk about their abuse. That's due to a lot of things, two major ones being fear and embarrassment.

Churches should take the time to train their congregation on how to prevent, identify and report child abuse. Most importantly, they should train their leaders on how to minister to the large portion of their congregation that has experienced abuse at some point in their lives.

Cindy Mallette
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