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Ah, the world of hapless husbands. Our plight is not recognized by many and understood by few. Thank God for the Husbands In (serious) Situations manual. It's been passed down secretly for hundreds of years by men who, in temporary times of tinder-like trials of marriage, have reverently offered The Husband's Prayer, "Lord, get me out of this."

As I've written excerpts of collected wisdom from the HIS Manual, I've received some pretty interesting responses. Recently a fellow traveler in this journey called marriage, which loosely defined is the collision of two planets while circling the sun (pastors, note metaphorical potential here), wrote to request, "nay beg" is how he put it, for the "2.0 version" of the super-secret HIS manual.

The writer, a (happily married) husband, said he desperately needed this elusive updated version. His wife of 33 years had become clairvoyant, he said, and could easily see through the conniving, I mean, convincing tactics employed by concerned husbands that all is under control, despite grievous errors conveying the contrary.

As an aside, this is exactly why the manual is secret and often memorized. Imagine a young wife discovering the manual and her awareness developed too early. Poof! Decades of potential peace disappear to be suddenly replaced by the savvy wisdom of the veteran wife who isn't buying it anymore. It makes me shudder.

The letter writer's request opened a multitude of thoughts worth taking another look at.

The problem at hand: clairvoyant wives who by sheer proximity and experience can easily penetrate the deepest - and well-intentioned - curtain of fog a husband can muster. He employs the fog to hide thick-headed errors, like forgetting how many years he's been married (always say "It seems like yesterday to me" or "I just live day to day with you, and this day is great" when confronted by this).

The inference from the reader's letter was, despite a happy marriage, he was caught like a crawdad in his wife's soul-sensing searchlight and was headed for the steam pot.

What grace can one give the guilty, um, "headed" to the guillotine? What solace do sailors on a slowly sinking ship savor as they slip through ocean swells swirling about them?

Well, for one thing, the writer is still working with the tricks, I mean, methods he's used from decades past with a then "rookie" wife. Searching for a solution to his problem in the pages of HIS, I saw this advice in the endnotes of chapter 23. In 1525, gentleman rancher Esteban Cabeza de Vaca, a Spaniard reflected:

"To the question of the wife who no longer wonders concerning the what, where and why of the husband's wisdom, but perceives his pernicious problems to be exactly what they are - the adamant refusal to embrace change - there is just one solution: Embrace change. Do not resist. Yes, it is critical to adjust 'husbandic' methods befitting the moment's challenge. The remaining path, otherwise, is to admit defeat, leading to despair and ultimately a despondent wife. This must be avoided."

See, it's all about doing it for her, never about you. This is why I love the manual. Its timeless perspective is life-changing. A husband's obfuscations must mature for the sake of that sweet girl you married so long ago. For the sake of a happy marriage, husbands must apply themselves to constantly mature, a daunting task, no doubt.

De Vaca, however, apparently failed to follow his own revelation. Finally fleeing to Florida, rumor has it, he embarked on a crazy quest to find a fountain of some sort with his famous explorer brother Alvar in the swampy jurisdictions of Chief Mococo. He was never heard from again.

See where Esteban's simple oversight of seeking new solutions sent him? The literal swamp of life while longing for a metaphorical return to that freshness, that wonder, of a youthful marriage.

Ah, those early marriage days were the days, were they not? I mean, these are the greatest days. Yes, sweeter now than ever and more precious, of course. Wine gets better with age, as they say.

Version 2.0 of the manual, I'm afraid to say, must be written on the fly by none other than you. It seems a bitter pill to swallow, but after being trained by experience, it yields the peaceful fruit of marital bliss. Take what is written in the HIS manual and liberally apply its principles to today's predicaments. Wisdom prevails.

The manual says, "Heed the inner voice that says 'this is the way, walk ye in it,' and enjoy the wife of your youth all the years of life."

Amen.