Diagnosis: 'ButFirst Syndrome'
Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
February is National Time Management Month, and something is wrong! The gap between your actual progress and the objectives you’ve set grows wider every day. In spite of your efforts, you’re not meeting your goals—you’re not even close. All your efforts seem to be in vain, and you have no idea what the problem is. Time’s a wasting. Maybe I can help.
I was browsing the latest issue of my favorite newsletter, Unstable Sources, the other day and to my surprise, ran across an article regarding some worthwhile research. It’s about time, I thought, that someone spent money on a research project that will actually benefit senior citizens. Usually it’s research on stuff like “why do pigs oink,” “why do kids sometimes fall off their tricycles,” or my personal favorite, “the feeding habits of the Arabian Tsetse fly.”
According to the article, medical researchers have named a heretofore un-named syndrome many of us suffer from, but have never been diagnosed for. It’s called the “Butfirst Syndrome.” Even though a cure has yet to be found, at least we can now discuss it with our loved ones and rationally explain what happened all those times we tried so hard to accomplish something and didn’t.
Ah, yes. The “Butfirst Syndrome.” It’s like the day my wife went to Tyler shopping and I was home alone. I decided this would be a good time to straighten up my workbench. I start for the garage and notice the morning paper on the coffee table. Okay, I’m going to straighten up my workbench, but first I’m going to read the paper.
After that, I notice the mail on the kitchen counter. Okay, I’ll just put the newspaper in the trash, but first I’ll look through the mail in case someone actually wrote me a letter. Now where’s that letter opener? Uh-oh! There’s my coffee cup from breakfast still in the sink.
After that, I notice the mail on the kitchen counter. Okay, I’ll just put the newspaper in the trash, but first I’ll look through the mail in case someone actually wrote me a letter. Now where’s that letter opener? Uh-oh! There’s my coffee cup from breakfast still in the sink.
I’m going to look for that letter opener, but first I need to put my coffee cup in the dishwasher. As I head in that direction I glance out the kitchen window and see a golf ball in my back yard. I put the coffee cup down, and what’s this? Why are my car keys here by the sink? And look at this! My tape measure I couldn’t find the other day. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away, but first I need to retrieve that golf ball in the yard.
On my way to the door, I trip over one of the dogs taking a nap on the floor. She needs a treat so she’ll know it wasn’t her fault. Okay, I’ll put that cup in the dishwasher, get the golf ball and put my car keys and tape measure away, but first I need to get the dog a treat.
By the time my wife gets home that afternoon, the newspaper is still on the coffee table, the mail is unopened, the coffee cup is in the sink, the golf ball is still in the yard, my car keys lie where I first saw them, and the dog is chewing on my tape measure. No treat for her.
When I try to explain to my wife how come I didn’t get anything done while she was gone, even though I know I was busy all day, I’m unable to.
I know this condition is serious and I intend to get help right away, but first I need to check my e-mail.
A question to ponder:
Why are the best laid plans of mice and men still subject to Murphy’s Law?
putterhugh@suddenlink.net
Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
A question to ponder:
Why are the best laid plans of mice and men still subject to Murphy’s Law?
putterhugh@suddenlink.net
Hugh Neeld is a freelance columnist for TylerPaper.com.
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