Moore Thoughts: Some things just shouldn't be called food

Published on Monday, 21 July 2014 09:27 - Written by

There’s a guy on TV who travels the world eating things I spray with Raid and he’s making tons of money doing it. His name is Andrew Zimmern and the show is called “Bizarre Foods.” And boy, they sure are.

I’m a live-and-let-live kind of guy, so I honor his right to be who he wants and eat who he wants. I say that last part because sometimes I question the food supplier of the local cook featured on some of the episodes.

Even within America, there’s much debate over what qualifies as food and what doesn’t. I once worked with a guy who couldn’t stand mayonnaise, but loved fried beef tongue sandwiches.

Hey, I’m from Arkansas and thought I’d heard of everything. Coon, possum, squirrel, but not fried beef tongue sandwiches. I could eat just about anything with mayo on it, but I don’t think I could eat anything that might lick me back.

I have friends who are vegetarians and/or vegans. Their choice to avoid meat and dairy is probably the healthiest diet there is, but think of how the menu would look without meat: “_______________ and baked potato”, “macaroni and _______________”, “_______________ and __________________”.

Just to clarify, the last one was bacon and eggs.

But, even within the vegetable family, there’s discord among diners. The following foods people either love or hate: broccoli, spinach and brussels sprouts. I’ve heard those who avoid meat say they do so because they can’t eat anything that can scream. Well, they should attend brussels sprouts night at my house. They’ll hear plenty of screaming.

Rich people are the funniest when it comes to food. They’ll pay a lot of money for things I use for catfish bait. We buy containers of chicken livers for fishing, but if you visit foodandwine.com, you’ll find a recipe for Chicken Liver Pate. If you’re wondering how to pronounce that last word, just imagine some drunk British guy saying the name Patty.

Here’s how the website outlines the recipe:

“This silky-smooth pate is inexpensive and simple to make. The chicken livers are briefly simmered in water with aromatics before they’re blended with butter in a food processor. If you have the opportunity to choose, shop for paler chicken livers; they tend to have a mellower, richer flavor than deep-red ones.”

I’ve never met Andrew Zimmern, but I’ll bet he was the kid in fifth grade who would eat anything on a dare. Unlike most other kids who ate things for attention, Andrew was smart enough to turn it into a zillion dollar business and get his own TV show.

He contends that not everyone has the same tastes, but that everyone should try something before they say they don’t like it.

My mom used to say that too. She and Andrew may have hit on the truth. Because I have noticed that the catfish seem to bite better on the paler chicken livers.

 

For more of John’s musings, visit johnmoore.net/blog