Nelson Clyde's Is It Just Me: How I’m learning to stop worrying and love the bomb

Published on Saturday, 12 August 2017 15:06 - Written by NELSON CLYDE, isitjustme@tylerpaper.com

Is it just me?

Or does anyone else find it amusing a total eclipse of the sun is just around the corner?

It seems the timing is perfect considering North Korean nukes could be in the air any minute. The possibility grows with every verbal jab thrown by our President, who seems to possess the social restraint of a pimple-faced pubescent boy. On second thought, there could be an upgrade in that proposition.

Many of the president’s supporters extolled the value of his ability to cut taxes in the wake of his election. I wonder what the value of those would be in a fabulous nuclear war?

At this point of every summer the heat tends to get to folks. Usually summer vacations are over and kids are bored enough to start doing really stupid stuff. If you’ve had enough kids you start to wonder by this point why we can’t make a good case for year-round school.

In fact, the progression of education actually causes breaks to be longer with less real-time education taking place in general studies.

The worst of it is the first year kids come home on Christmas break. They are budding adults (however adolescent) and yet they don’t know when to go to sleep or when to wake up.

By the time the Christmas tree is in the front yard next to the trash can they really should be heading back to their dorms. But the dorm people clearly conspire with the professors. Students are not even allowed back before a certain date in January.

What a system.

If you’re paying attention during the upcoming eclipse they say animals start behaving oddly. Bats start flying, ants stop working and cows just stand there and do nothing. Apparently a Swedish firm is working on a pair of glasses that make the frolicking bats look like Trump riding a nuke ala Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.

Stay tuned.

It’s getting warmer out there.